marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
