what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
