I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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