I just pynch a tree in the face
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize