Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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