i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
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I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
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My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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