I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
