On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
operation harelip BJ is a go
oh god was she eating orange peels again
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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