whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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