Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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