I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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