3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
