Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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