We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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