i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
You were trust falling into bushes
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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