Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
