i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
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Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
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i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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