I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
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Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
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sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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