She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
