Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
