I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
