You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
