I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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