So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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