So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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