He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
It's never too late to be topless.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
