I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
they call him Oral-B. enough said
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
