You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
