I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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