they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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