Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
wow bdsm is so cute
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
