Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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