Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
