great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
