Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
