grandma shit on top of the toilet
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize