I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I smell like Dick and happiness
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
