Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
