So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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