I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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