dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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