the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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