can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
