Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
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