I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
