I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
