the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
