I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
even my farts smell like vagina
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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