Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
