I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
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