I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
