Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
