I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
