I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
