And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
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The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
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I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize