dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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