OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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