He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
