Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
