I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Randomize
