Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize