Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
